Guhhhhhh this is so good and SO REAL. Once of the things I hear from people who are thinking about working with me but not taking the leap a lot is: I don't want to have the responsibility for my process. I don't want to have the responsibility to own my work. And I think the fear of getting "the dream" and then actually hating it because you're bored is also so very real. Thanks for this post.
My god, I am so afraid of my bigness. For taking responsibility. For choosing myself all over and over and over again. As an artist we are meant to be outside of the box. I am meant to be big. To create. TO BE. I am scared every minute of my life. I wouldn't change it for anything else! But fuck me!
James, how right you are! It costs nothing to dream or blow smoke into a survey response, but it's a different price paid when we put some skin in the game. And on another note, I know that if I'm truly being honest, the biggest thing that has held me back in my life is... me. Which is also really sad and cute and ridiculous. Yet here we are...
This just somehow, miraculously, really made me laugh out loud but also scratch my head in wonder and recognition. Please always share these kind of thoughts with us, I needed to read exactly this, literally right now. Perfect timing. Thank you!
Midway through reading this post, I remembered the the word 'zielschmerz' from The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows which John Koenig describes as "the dread of finally pursuing a lifelong dream, which requires you to put your true abilities out there to be tested on the open savannah, no longer protected inside the terrarium of hopes and delusions that you started up in kindergarten and kept sealed as long as you could."
There's some significant percentage of zielschmerz inside all of us (and I think it extends beyond career aspirations sometimes). Fully committing to a path in a blaze feels scary. "My greatest fear as an artist is that I’ll have to start really trying. To give up a part of myself to the craft. To suddenly be beholden to fans or gatekeepers. That I will have to leave my quiet, peaceful life and actually fully commit. Fully inhabit my identity as a writer."—I could've written all of these lines.
But also, some hilariously eyebrow-raising answers in this survey; no wonder you were inspired to write this post after reading the numbers.
Guhhhhhh this is so good and SO REAL. Once of the things I hear from people who are thinking about working with me but not taking the leap a lot is: I don't want to have the responsibility for my process. I don't want to have the responsibility to own my work. And I think the fear of getting "the dream" and then actually hating it because you're bored is also so very real. Thanks for this post.
Yes! So true! The responsibility is so scary!
I really enjoyed this!! Also LOL.
Thanks for reading, Melissa!
My god, I am so afraid of my bigness. For taking responsibility. For choosing myself all over and over and over again. As an artist we are meant to be outside of the box. I am meant to be big. To create. TO BE. I am scared every minute of my life. I wouldn't change it for anything else! But fuck me!
I'm right there with you, Lincy. Bring on the fear!
James, how right you are! It costs nothing to dream or blow smoke into a survey response, but it's a different price paid when we put some skin in the game. And on another note, I know that if I'm truly being honest, the biggest thing that has held me back in my life is... me. Which is also really sad and cute and ridiculous. Yet here we are...
Yep, exactly, so easy to talk a big game when you don't actually have to do the hard thing!
This just somehow, miraculously, really made me laugh out loud but also scratch my head in wonder and recognition. Please always share these kind of thoughts with us, I needed to read exactly this, literally right now. Perfect timing. Thank you!
This was such an amazing compliment, Nicole. Riding high on it all day!
Midway through reading this post, I remembered the the word 'zielschmerz' from The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows which John Koenig describes as "the dread of finally pursuing a lifelong dream, which requires you to put your true abilities out there to be tested on the open savannah, no longer protected inside the terrarium of hopes and delusions that you started up in kindergarten and kept sealed as long as you could."
There's some significant percentage of zielschmerz inside all of us (and I think it extends beyond career aspirations sometimes). Fully committing to a path in a blaze feels scary. "My greatest fear as an artist is that I’ll have to start really trying. To give up a part of myself to the craft. To suddenly be beholden to fans or gatekeepers. That I will have to leave my quiet, peaceful life and actually fully commit. Fully inhabit my identity as a writer."—I could've written all of these lines.
But also, some hilariously eyebrow-raising answers in this survey; no wonder you were inspired to write this post after reading the numbers.